Sunday, May 22, 2011

More readings about wedding

Polish wedding:
http://www.polskiinternet.com/english/info/wedding.html

American wedding:
http://www.elitedresses.com/American_Wedding_Customs_s/63.htm

Chinese wedding:
http://chineseculture.about.com/library/weekly/aa031500a.htm

Korean wedding:
http://www.weddingsatwork.com/culture_customs_korean.shtml

Reading: Weddings

Weddings
- Fauziya Kassindja and Layli Miller Bashir

At the age of 17, Fauziya Kassindja left Togo, West Africa, to escape a marriage arranged by her uncle. With the help of Layli Miller Bashir, she wrote a book about her life. In this excerpt from the book she recalls her sister’s wedding.

Ayisha was the first to many. She was to marry a man from Lomé named Abass. What a celebration that was!
We don’t date in our culture. Muslims don’t anyway. Couples fall in love and decide to marry in the same fashion that my parents did – that is, if they come from families that allow them to choose their own partners. Some marriages are completely arranged by the parents.
It’s more customary these days, however, for a young man to select his bride. As happened with my father, he’ll see a woman who captures his fancy and start watching her. Maybe he’ll make a point of going to the market on the days he knows she’s likely to be there. She may or may not realize she’s being watched, may or may not be watching back. Eventually, the young man will approach the young woman and say some version of what my father said to my mother through her friend: “I’ve been watching you. I really like you. I’d like to marry you.” If she doesn’t share his feelings, she’ll say, “I’ll think about it.” She won’t say, “Well, I don’t want to marry you.” She’ll be polite. Each time he approaches her, she’ll say the same thing – “I’ll think about it” – until he gets the message that she’s not interested in him.
If the woman indicates she is interested, the prospective groom will go home and tell his family he’s found the woman he want to wed. If they don’t know her or her family, his parents will do some investigating to find out if she’s a good Muslim girl from a good Muslim home. Once they are satisfied with her suitability, the young man’s parents will send one of his brothers or sisters to the brides’ family to request a meeting. The father will then go to his daughter or daughters: “Does anyone here know why this young man’s family would want to come calling?”
“Yes, Daddy,” one of the girls will say. “I told him to have his parents send someone to come talk to you” – a clear indication of her interest.
In families like mine, the parents may do a little prodding to make sure of their daughters’ feelings. With each of my sisters my father would tease her, asking: “Is this really the man you want? Do you really love him? You can say no, sweetheart. You don’t have to marry anyone you don’t love.”…
I knew that a wedding was coming soon when a sister’s husband-to-be began visiting our house. That doesn’t happen until after the wedding date has been set. Once it’s set, the young man is permitted to come calling on his bride-to-be. They can sit and talk and laugh together, even with a chaperon.
This courtship period usually lasts a number of months, giving the couple a chance to get to know each other while the wedding itself is arranged. It takes time to arrange a wedding celebration of the size Ayisha and my sister had. Word has to go out to friends and relatives living in different countries, to allow plenty of time for travel. Food has to be bought and prepared.
My mothers’ three surviving sisters were always the first to arrive after a marriage announcement went out. They came about two weeks before Ayisha’s wedding, from Benin and Nigeria, to help with the cooking and preparations. Durign this time my father and brothers made themselves scarce. Weddings are women’s business.
The days of preparation passed happily, and then came Thursday, when the festivities really got started…. The drummers, singers, and musicians arrived after seven, and by eight the celebrating was under way.
Once the dancing in the courtyard outside had reached a certain peak, one person would announce, “It’s time for the bride-to-be to come and dance” for Ayisha was still in the house. A great cry went out as the bride, my beautiful sister, came out of the house and entered the circle, with her maid of honor. And then Ayisha danced.
Friday night’s celebrations passed in much the same way. The groom doesn’t attend any of these festivities. His family may hold a separate, smaller celebration if they can afford it, but the groom is a mere phantom presence at the bride’s parties. Bride and groom don’t see each other until Sunday night after they’re officially married when she’s delivered to his house.
One Saturday morning the nachane arrived. She’s the old woman in our community who does all the ritual bathing of brides and new babies.
Sunday’s celebration would be the most spectacular of them all. Nobody had to wake me up that morning. My eyes popped open well before dawn. This was it! The nachane returned to the house to give the bride her ritual bath.
The next step in the bridal ritual was the dressing and makeup. Some of Ayisha’s girlfriends and a few of our female cousins came to help my sisters and aunts with this part of the ritual.
Something had happened in that room while the women were dressing Ayisha, some magic. This woman standing before me, smiling back at me, wasn’t just my sister Ayisha anymore. Always beautiful, she had been transformed into the most radiantly exquisite woman I had ever seen.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Wednesday class is on

Hi all,

We will have a regular class on Wednesday.
See you!

Today's class cancelled

Hi Class,

I'm cancelling today's class (5/17) as my pain is getting worse. I'm sorry about this.

Please let your classmates know too if you can.

I will keep you posted.

-Hyunjoo

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Hi everyone,

I hope you are enjoying the weekend!
I went to an emergeny room yesterday, and I'm not feeling so well now although I feel better.
That means I might get slow getting your works back. But believe me I'm trying to return your papers.
So be patient with me, please.

Monday, please bring your grammar too.

Let me know if you have any concerns.

Thank you!

-Hyunjoo

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Announcements and homework for Monday

Tomorrow, bring the grammar book and your essay with the feedback forms to the lab.
Revise essay and email it to me.

Monday, (1) Do the reading journal for the novel (from Pieter --1665) and read 1665-1666.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Reading Journal #5

(Reading Journal #5. Check the Blackboard for the electronic file)

Taming Macho Ways
By Elvia Alvarado
When I started working with the mothers' clubs in the Catholic Church, it was the first time I realized that we women work even harder than the men do.
We get up before they do to grind the corn and make tortillas and coffee for their breakfast. Then we work all day - taking care of the kids, washing the clothes, ironing, mending our husband's old rags, cleaning the house. We hike to the mountains looking for wood to cook with. We walk to the stream or the well to get water. We make lunch and bring it to the men in the field. And we often grab a hoe and help in the fields. We never sit still one minute.
It's true that there are some jobs that require a lot of strength and that women can't do as well as men. For example, when we have to clear a piece of forest, it's the men who go out with the axes and cut down the trees. Other work we consider "men's work" is chopping firewood and plowing the land with a team of oxen. These are things that men do better than women, because they're stronger. I don't know if it's a physical difference from birth, but the fact is that here in Honduras women are usually either pregnant or nursing, and that takes a lot of energy out of you.
Men may be out working during the day, but when they come home they usually don't do a thing. They want their meal to be ready, and after they eat they either lie down to rest or go out drinking. But we women keep on working - cooking the corn and beans for the next day's meal, watching the children.
Even when we go to sleep, we don't get to rest. If the babies wake up crying, we have to go take care of them - give them the breast if they're still breast-feeding, give them medicine if they're sick. And then if our husbands want to make love, if they get the urge, then it's back to work again.
The next morning, we're up before the sun, while our husbands are still sleeping.
In some families, like the workers in the city, I've seen men help women in the house. But I've never seen it in a campesino home. Even if the man has no work and sits at home, he won't help out.
I have a friend in the city who works in a factory. If he comes home from work and the meal isn't ready - maybe his wife is busy watching the children or washing clothes - he just grabs the pots and pans and gets to work. I've seen it with my own eyes. He actually cooks the meal for the whole family. You'd never see that in a campesino house!
I don't think it's fair that the women do all the work. Maybe it's because I've been around more and I've seen other relationships. But I think that if two people get together to form a home, it should be because they love and respect each other. And that means that they should share everything.
The problem some campesina women have is even worse. Not only do their husbands refuse to help, but they don't even support the family. They don't give her money to put food on her children's plates.
Another problem women have is that their husbands often beat them. Say a campesino comes home late after drinking or sleeping with a woman he has on the side. If his wife yells at him, hi hits her. Sometimes he leaves her all black and blue or with a bloody nose, a black eye, or a busted lip.
The neighbors can hear everything. But since it’s a fight between the two of them, no one interferes. Unless the woman starts to yell, “Help! So-and-so’s trying to kill me.” Then the neighbors come over and tell him to stop hitting the poor woman.
“No,” the campesino says. “This no-good woman is yelling about things she has no right to stick her nose into. I’m the man in this family, and nobody tells me what to do.”
He usually stops hitting her when the neighbors get involved. But if no one comes to help her, she wakes up the next morning all black and blue.
The woman never says what really happened. She’s too embarrassed. So she says she fell down or had an accident. She doesn’t even tell her friends or her own mother what happened. Because if she tells her mother, her mother says, “You knew what he was like when you went to live with him. So shy did you go with him in the first place?” Or if the mother tells her to come home and live with her and she does, a few days later they get back together again and the mother’s the one that looks bad.
If the woman can’t take it any more, she leaves him. But even after the woman leaves, the man usually follows her and keeps harassing her.
We know it’s against the law to beat someone like that, but the police don’t get involved in fights between couples. They say it’s none of their business. They say its’ something for the man and wife to figure out by themselves.
Machismo is a historical problem. It goes back to the time of our great-grand-fathers, or our great-great-grandfathers. In my mind it’s connected to the problem of drinking. Drinking is man’s worst disease. When men drink, they fight with everyone. They hit their wives and children. They offend their neighbors. They lose all sense of dignity.

How are we going to stop campesinos from drinking? First of all, we know the government isn’t interested in stopping it, because it’s an important source of income. Every time you buy a bottle of liquor, part of that money goes to the government.
That’s why the government doesn’t let the campesinos make their own liquor, because the government doesn’t make any money off homemade brew. So a campesino can go into town any time, day or night, spend all his money, and drink himself sick. But if he gets caught making choruco – that’s what we call homemade spirits made from corn and sugar – they throw him in jail. The government wants the campesinos to drink, but only the liquor that they make money off of.
If we’re ever going to get campesinos to stop drinking, we first have to look at why so many campesinos drink. And for that we have to look at what kind of society we have. We’ve built up a society that treats people like trash, a society that doesn’t give people jobs, a society that doesn’t give people a reason to stay sober. I think that’ where this vice comes from.
I’ve seen what happens when campesinos organize and have a plot of land to farm. They don’t have time for drinking any more, except on special occasions. They spend the day in the hot sun – plowing, planting, weeding, irrigating, cutting firewood for the hose, carrying the produce to market. Most of them are very dedicated to their work and their families.
So I’ve noticed that once the campesinos have a purpose, once they have a way to make a living and take care of their families, they drink less. And they usually stop beating their wives, too. And I’ve seen that once the women get organized, they start to get their husbands in line.
I know that changing the way men and women treat each other is a long process. But if we really want to build a new society, we have to change the bad habits of the past. We can’t build a new society if we are drunks, womanizers, or corrupt. No, those things have to change.
But people can change. I know there are many things I used to do that I don’t do any more, now that I’m more educated. For example, I used to gossip and criticize other women. I sued to fight over men. But I learned that gossip only does fighting over men. So I stopped doing these things.
Before, whenever I’d see the slightest thing I’d go running to my friends. “Ay, did you see so-and-so with what’s-his-face?” I’d go all over town telling everyone what I saw. Now I wouldn’t say anything. That’s her business.
If someone is in hanger, then, yes, we have to get involved. For example, I heard a rumor that a landowner was out to kill one of the campesino leaders I work with. I made sure to warn the campesino so he’d be careful. That kind of rumor we tell each other- but not the idle gossip.
I also used to flirt with married men, just for the fun of it and to make their wives jealous. Now I’m much more responsible, much more serious. That doesn’t mean I don’t joke around and have a good time. I just make it clear that we’re friends.
We all have to make changes. Campesino men have to be more responsible with their women. They have to have only one woman. Because they have a hard enough time supporting one family, let alone two. Campesinos who drink have to stop drinking. And campesinos who fight with their wives have to stop fighting. Our struggle has to begin in our own homes.

Reading Journal #5

1. Summary
2. The part that you liked/agreed and why
3. The part you didn’t like/disagreed and why
4. Vocabulary
5. Two discussion questions that came to your mind when you were reading this article
6. Reflection: Pick one question from 5 and write an essay.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Reading for Monday

I hope you are enjoying the spring break!
For Monday, I would like you to read the novel (Girl with a pearl earring) right before the year 1665 begins.
The last sentence is "He had begun again."

If you haven't sent me the homework, I would like you to send it to me asap.
If you have any questions, let me know!

Enjoy your break!


-Hyunjoo

Monday, April 11, 2011

Questions that we came up with today

(1) Do you think that Griet is lucky to have this position and happy to work for Vermeer's family? (2) How is one's family affected when the breadwinnder lost his or her job? (3) Would you sacrifice yourself for your family as Griet did? (4) Why did Griet have religion problems with the family that she worked with? (5) How are you going to do when your family can't keep supporting you to study anymore? (6) How were welfare policies like during this period? Were they so poor that a girl who was just 16 years old should be a breadwinner? (7) Why was Catharina jealous of Griet? (8)How are children feeling when parents are the ones who make decisions for them?

Friday, April 8, 2011

Homework for Monday

For Monday, read "Girl With a Pearl Earring" up to where Griet meets with Pieter, the butcher's son.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Vocabulary Quiz 3

Wander

On the verge

Manage to

Resolve

Be obliged to

Devastated

Deal with

Ongoing

Breadwinner

navigate

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Vocabulary 2

1. disassociate
2. wander
3. companion
4. leash
5. criteria
6. vigorous
7. define
8. replace
9. committed
10. on a diet
11. intended
12. obesity
13. on the verge
14. banned
15. stepped in
16. snared
17. manage to
18. go beyond
19. at odds
20. advocate

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Friday, March 18, 2011

Reading Journal #2

Hi all,

How did the lab session go? I hope you got to finish Reading Journal #2, which is due Saturday 9 PM.
Let me know if you have any problem.

Have a great weekend!

Monday, March 7, 2011