Polish wedding:
http://www.polskiinternet.com/english/info/wedding.html
American wedding:
http://www.elitedresses.com/American_Wedding_Customs_s/63.htm
Chinese wedding:
http://chineseculture.about.com/library/weekly/aa031500a.htm
Korean wedding:
http://www.weddingsatwork.com/culture_customs_korean.shtml
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Reading: Weddings
Weddings
- Fauziya Kassindja and Layli Miller Bashir
At the age of 17, Fauziya Kassindja left Togo, West Africa, to escape a marriage arranged by her uncle. With the help of Layli Miller Bashir, she wrote a book about her life. In this excerpt from the book she recalls her sister’s wedding.
Ayisha was the first to many. She was to marry a man from Lomé named Abass. What a celebration that was!
We don’t date in our culture. Muslims don’t anyway. Couples fall in love and decide to marry in the same fashion that my parents did – that is, if they come from families that allow them to choose their own partners. Some marriages are completely arranged by the parents.
It’s more customary these days, however, for a young man to select his bride. As happened with my father, he’ll see a woman who captures his fancy and start watching her. Maybe he’ll make a point of going to the market on the days he knows she’s likely to be there. She may or may not realize she’s being watched, may or may not be watching back. Eventually, the young man will approach the young woman and say some version of what my father said to my mother through her friend: “I’ve been watching you. I really like you. I’d like to marry you.” If she doesn’t share his feelings, she’ll say, “I’ll think about it.” She won’t say, “Well, I don’t want to marry you.” She’ll be polite. Each time he approaches her, she’ll say the same thing – “I’ll think about it” – until he gets the message that she’s not interested in him.
If the woman indicates she is interested, the prospective groom will go home and tell his family he’s found the woman he want to wed. If they don’t know her or her family, his parents will do some investigating to find out if she’s a good Muslim girl from a good Muslim home. Once they are satisfied with her suitability, the young man’s parents will send one of his brothers or sisters to the brides’ family to request a meeting. The father will then go to his daughter or daughters: “Does anyone here know why this young man’s family would want to come calling?”
“Yes, Daddy,” one of the girls will say. “I told him to have his parents send someone to come talk to you” – a clear indication of her interest.
In families like mine, the parents may do a little prodding to make sure of their daughters’ feelings. With each of my sisters my father would tease her, asking: “Is this really the man you want? Do you really love him? You can say no, sweetheart. You don’t have to marry anyone you don’t love.”…
I knew that a wedding was coming soon when a sister’s husband-to-be began visiting our house. That doesn’t happen until after the wedding date has been set. Once it’s set, the young man is permitted to come calling on his bride-to-be. They can sit and talk and laugh together, even with a chaperon.
This courtship period usually lasts a number of months, giving the couple a chance to get to know each other while the wedding itself is arranged. It takes time to arrange a wedding celebration of the size Ayisha and my sister had. Word has to go out to friends and relatives living in different countries, to allow plenty of time for travel. Food has to be bought and prepared.
My mothers’ three surviving sisters were always the first to arrive after a marriage announcement went out. They came about two weeks before Ayisha’s wedding, from Benin and Nigeria, to help with the cooking and preparations. Durign this time my father and brothers made themselves scarce. Weddings are women’s business.
The days of preparation passed happily, and then came Thursday, when the festivities really got started…. The drummers, singers, and musicians arrived after seven, and by eight the celebrating was under way.
Once the dancing in the courtyard outside had reached a certain peak, one person would announce, “It’s time for the bride-to-be to come and dance” for Ayisha was still in the house. A great cry went out as the bride, my beautiful sister, came out of the house and entered the circle, with her maid of honor. And then Ayisha danced.
Friday night’s celebrations passed in much the same way. The groom doesn’t attend any of these festivities. His family may hold a separate, smaller celebration if they can afford it, but the groom is a mere phantom presence at the bride’s parties. Bride and groom don’t see each other until Sunday night after they’re officially married when she’s delivered to his house.
One Saturday morning the nachane arrived. She’s the old woman in our community who does all the ritual bathing of brides and new babies.
Sunday’s celebration would be the most spectacular of them all. Nobody had to wake me up that morning. My eyes popped open well before dawn. This was it! The nachane returned to the house to give the bride her ritual bath.
The next step in the bridal ritual was the dressing and makeup. Some of Ayisha’s girlfriends and a few of our female cousins came to help my sisters and aunts with this part of the ritual.
Something had happened in that room while the women were dressing Ayisha, some magic. This woman standing before me, smiling back at me, wasn’t just my sister Ayisha anymore. Always beautiful, she had been transformed into the most radiantly exquisite woman I had ever seen.
- Fauziya Kassindja and Layli Miller Bashir
At the age of 17, Fauziya Kassindja left Togo, West Africa, to escape a marriage arranged by her uncle. With the help of Layli Miller Bashir, she wrote a book about her life. In this excerpt from the book she recalls her sister’s wedding.
Ayisha was the first to many. She was to marry a man from Lomé named Abass. What a celebration that was!
We don’t date in our culture. Muslims don’t anyway. Couples fall in love and decide to marry in the same fashion that my parents did – that is, if they come from families that allow them to choose their own partners. Some marriages are completely arranged by the parents.
It’s more customary these days, however, for a young man to select his bride. As happened with my father, he’ll see a woman who captures his fancy and start watching her. Maybe he’ll make a point of going to the market on the days he knows she’s likely to be there. She may or may not realize she’s being watched, may or may not be watching back. Eventually, the young man will approach the young woman and say some version of what my father said to my mother through her friend: “I’ve been watching you. I really like you. I’d like to marry you.” If she doesn’t share his feelings, she’ll say, “I’ll think about it.” She won’t say, “Well, I don’t want to marry you.” She’ll be polite. Each time he approaches her, she’ll say the same thing – “I’ll think about it” – until he gets the message that she’s not interested in him.
If the woman indicates she is interested, the prospective groom will go home and tell his family he’s found the woman he want to wed. If they don’t know her or her family, his parents will do some investigating to find out if she’s a good Muslim girl from a good Muslim home. Once they are satisfied with her suitability, the young man’s parents will send one of his brothers or sisters to the brides’ family to request a meeting. The father will then go to his daughter or daughters: “Does anyone here know why this young man’s family would want to come calling?”
“Yes, Daddy,” one of the girls will say. “I told him to have his parents send someone to come talk to you” – a clear indication of her interest.
In families like mine, the parents may do a little prodding to make sure of their daughters’ feelings. With each of my sisters my father would tease her, asking: “Is this really the man you want? Do you really love him? You can say no, sweetheart. You don’t have to marry anyone you don’t love.”…
I knew that a wedding was coming soon when a sister’s husband-to-be began visiting our house. That doesn’t happen until after the wedding date has been set. Once it’s set, the young man is permitted to come calling on his bride-to-be. They can sit and talk and laugh together, even with a chaperon.
This courtship period usually lasts a number of months, giving the couple a chance to get to know each other while the wedding itself is arranged. It takes time to arrange a wedding celebration of the size Ayisha and my sister had. Word has to go out to friends and relatives living in different countries, to allow plenty of time for travel. Food has to be bought and prepared.
My mothers’ three surviving sisters were always the first to arrive after a marriage announcement went out. They came about two weeks before Ayisha’s wedding, from Benin and Nigeria, to help with the cooking and preparations. Durign this time my father and brothers made themselves scarce. Weddings are women’s business.
The days of preparation passed happily, and then came Thursday, when the festivities really got started…. The drummers, singers, and musicians arrived after seven, and by eight the celebrating was under way.
Once the dancing in the courtyard outside had reached a certain peak, one person would announce, “It’s time for the bride-to-be to come and dance” for Ayisha was still in the house. A great cry went out as the bride, my beautiful sister, came out of the house and entered the circle, with her maid of honor. And then Ayisha danced.
Friday night’s celebrations passed in much the same way. The groom doesn’t attend any of these festivities. His family may hold a separate, smaller celebration if they can afford it, but the groom is a mere phantom presence at the bride’s parties. Bride and groom don’t see each other until Sunday night after they’re officially married when she’s delivered to his house.
One Saturday morning the nachane arrived. She’s the old woman in our community who does all the ritual bathing of brides and new babies.
Sunday’s celebration would be the most spectacular of them all. Nobody had to wake me up that morning. My eyes popped open well before dawn. This was it! The nachane returned to the house to give the bride her ritual bath.
The next step in the bridal ritual was the dressing and makeup. Some of Ayisha’s girlfriends and a few of our female cousins came to help my sisters and aunts with this part of the ritual.
Something had happened in that room while the women were dressing Ayisha, some magic. This woman standing before me, smiling back at me, wasn’t just my sister Ayisha anymore. Always beautiful, she had been transformed into the most radiantly exquisite woman I had ever seen.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Today's class cancelled
Hi Class,
I'm cancelling today's class (5/17) as my pain is getting worse. I'm sorry about this.
Please let your classmates know too if you can.
I will keep you posted.
-Hyunjoo
I'm cancelling today's class (5/17) as my pain is getting worse. I'm sorry about this.
Please let your classmates know too if you can.
I will keep you posted.
-Hyunjoo
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Hi everyone,
I hope you are enjoying the weekend!
I went to an emergeny room yesterday, and I'm not feeling so well now although I feel better.
That means I might get slow getting your works back. But believe me I'm trying to return your papers.
So be patient with me, please.
Monday, please bring your grammar too.
Let me know if you have any concerns.
Thank you!
-Hyunjoo
I hope you are enjoying the weekend!
I went to an emergeny room yesterday, and I'm not feeling so well now although I feel better.
That means I might get slow getting your works back. But believe me I'm trying to return your papers.
So be patient with me, please.
Monday, please bring your grammar too.
Let me know if you have any concerns.
Thank you!
-Hyunjoo
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Readings: Technology Developments
(1) http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/09/hold_new_rutgers_post.html
(2) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1372994/Moaning-joking-Facebook-work-end-P45.html
(3) http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/11625/1/Why-the-Positive-Effects-of-Internet-Use-Outweigh-the-Bad.html
(4) http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/innovation/02/21/egypt.internet.revolution/index.html
(5) http://www.azdailysun.com/news/national/article_871c8ddd-1d83-5610-a95a-71deeda5080a.html
(6) http://mashable.com/2010/09/29/social-media-in-school/
(7) http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/26/health/26teen.html
(2) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1372994/Moaning-joking-Facebook-work-end-P45.html
(3) http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/11625/1/Why-the-Positive-Effects-of-Internet-Use-Outweigh-the-Bad.html
(4) http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/innovation/02/21/egypt.internet.revolution/index.html
(5) http://www.azdailysun.com/news/national/article_871c8ddd-1d83-5610-a95a-71deeda5080a.html
(6) http://mashable.com/2010/09/29/social-media-in-school/
(7) http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/26/health/26teen.html
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